I haven’t had much to do lately. I completed my masters program. I’m in the lengthy process of job-hunting in a field where I am unlikely to hear anything until July or August due to the nature of the work. I didn’t line up a summer job. I can’ thick down any of my travel plans. Yadda, yadda, yadda… And while, yes, I recognize there is a lot I could do about that, the simple fact is that this is probably the last “free” summer I’ll ever have.
So I figured: “Hey, this’ll give me an opportunity to blog, work on some creative writing projects, and maybe finally get that podcast off the ground.”
Funny thing about that … all three of those ideas require creativity and stick-to-it-ness … Two things that I am currently lacking. I’ve started numerous blogs as drafts, and let them languish in the Drafts folder on WordPress. I’ve got a bunch of documents saved in iCloud Drive. And I recorded a new intro to my podcast on Ferrite, which I purchased specifically to podcast from my new iPad Pro.
I have all the tools and resources and gimmick-shnabitzes (is that the proper spelling?) I could ask for. And I have nothing to show for it. I just cannot muster up the creative drive to see things past the initial idea phase: the first few words or sentences, the first few minutes of jibber-jabber, anything. I’m missing whatever it takes to go from that initial spark of an idea all the way to a finished product.
Honestly, this is a problem that is interwoven with many other aspects of my life right now. I’ve been in a, for lack of better words, funk since I graduated last month. I went from having projects to which I was devoting all of my energy, practically to the point of burnout, on a set schedule. Now I don’t. And I have nothing compelling me to change that. It’s frustrating, because I don’t want things to be this way. But I’m having trouble changing it.
If anyone is reading, consider this a cry for help. Any advice you have would be welcome at this point.